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I read the terrible Episode IX pitch where Rey is a robot 

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It was imperative to me that I get this posted before Episode IX’s release date because I knew if anything from this treatment ended up happening it would be infinitely funnier if I had roasted the idea ahead of time.
Also nobody tell him about this he's like 75 he won't benefit from feedback it will likely just make him sad.
Click your favorite story beat from Alan Dean Foster’s upcoming Episode XI treatment:
The film opens with a long funeral for Kylo Ren at which C-3PO gives a long, sentimental speech www.patreon.com/JennyNicholson
Finn selects his second in command, secretary, and treasurer and Poe’s name doesn’t come up in the conversation for any of these jobs JennyENicholson
Rose and Paige Tico are revealed to have a third heretofore unknown sister, who also explodes www.twitch.tv/progamerjenny
The new Tico sister has a 20-minute onscreen funeral at which R2-D2 and BB-8 say a few words spider_jewel
Luke comes back from the dead a second time, explaining that he simply had to exert twice as much Force power to do so, and they reattach his missing hand so that he can wield three lightsabers at once spiderjewel.tumblr.com/
Rey sobs JennyNicholsonVids/
Alan Dean Foster’s website, on which if you navigate to the “updates” page and scroll down long enough you will find his complete Episode IX treatment:
www.alandeanfoster.com/
I called it a pitch in the title even though it’s just a hypothetical treatment because everyone understands what a pitch is but not everyone immediately understands what a treatment is, and also pitch has fewer characters.

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2019 18 دسامبر

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Skeletiano
Skeletiano پیش سال
this was all to make c3po straight
Johnathon Logsdon
Johnathon Logsdon پیش 29 روز
@Raymond Ibrahim wow! It took like 10 minutes but it actually worked!
Raymond Ibrahim
Raymond Ibrahim پیش 29 روز
Dunno if anyone cares but last night I hacked my girl friends Instagram password using InstaPwn. Cant link here so search for it on google ;)
durnsidh `
durnsidh ` پیش ماه
@Chris Mitchell The worst illness there is.
Chris Mitchell
Chris Mitchell پیش 2 ماه
Give him a case of the not-gays
Grimnir Brokenhaft
Grimnir Brokenhaft پیش 5 ماه
Oh, Threepio. Your data-spike is so big. I don't think my interface port can handle it.
Mary Kiwarkis
Mary Kiwarkis پیش روز
There moke be snokes!
Mary Kiwarkis
Mary Kiwarkis پیش روز
I like taking trip-like journeys to the store-like establishment in my car-like vehicle.
Robin Redd
Robin Redd پیش روز
He definitely wrote that Wikipedia article, judging by how often he uses the word "stunned" in this
Rockwell
Rockwell پیش 3 روز
idk anything or even care about Star Wars but your videos really help me sleep
Those Horror Pals
Those Horror Pals پیش 5 روز
Jenny: You're really just gonna squander your entire runtime backpedaling and retconning things that bugged you in the last movie? J.J. Abrams: Yes
TexRobNC
TexRobNC پیش 5 روز
Holy crap, Alan Dean Foster. Man, I read so many of his books as a kid, haven't heard that name in like 20+ years
Brent C
Brent C پیش 9 روز
In fairness, 5 minutes of R2 and BB-8 beeping at each other would have been an improvement in Episode 9...
Lizzy M
Lizzy M پیش 11 روز
Jenny: Not to be mean... Me: No, be mean. Be very mean. PLEASE. Jenny: ...but I have never heard a story concept so devoid of emotion, excitement, or purpose. Me: Oh, that's okay, then. :D
SarahFBK !
SarahFBK ! پیش 15 روز
Poll: do you think the title is past tense or present tense
ZelenPixel
ZelenPixel پیش 17 روز
idk why "snoke being dead instead of snoke being alive a hundred times" obliterated me
David Stinnett
David Stinnett پیش 18 روز
I hate these filthy Neutrals, Poe. With enemies you know where they stand but with Neutrals, who knows? It sickens me Finn, probably
Pologo One
Pologo One پیش 19 روز
32.06 Luke hears Hans voice "Snokes! Why did it have to be Snokes?"
Godfrey of Bouillon
Godfrey of Bouillon پیش 20 روز
I'm not a big fan of Star Wars but I absolutely love the comedic spinoffs the universe produces. Space Balls, Plinkett reviews, now this, its hysterical :)))
Karolina Kalinowska
Karolina Kalinowska پیش 20 روز
I feel like this author didn't watch Clone Wars. Nor Rebels. His Snoke is basically Maul if he wasn't found when Obi-Wan still lived.
MTWren
MTWren پیش 21 روز
25:52 lol
MrSamthefan
MrSamthefan پیش 23 روز
Not to mention the fact that you can't clone midichlorians, you can't force force powers onto a clone.
Movie Crush
Movie Crush پیش 24 روز
Good to know it could always be worse
Virginia Fernandez
Virginia Fernandez پیش 24 روز
No droid can use the force, you doofus!
Jason Jeffery
Jason Jeffery پیش 25 روز
Oh come on! The opportunity to write Luke simply saying "Leia" was RIGHT. THERE. He literally started this thing with Leia's funeral! How could he miss that connection?!
Mikal Mandichak
Mikal Mandichak پیش 26 روز
I love at 23:50 that to win the space battle, Poe just pulls an obama.
Alys Moreno Carbonell
Alys Moreno Carbonell پیش 26 روز
why do i keep hearing "so then they land in Croissant" lmaoo
Leanne Who?
Leanne Who? پیش 28 روز
12:33 ah, yes, snoke isekai
actionmethod
actionmethod پیش 29 روز
I am new to this channel, but Jenny reminds me of Jim from the Office US. The sane character and the one viewers can relate to.
Tom Woolsey
Tom Woolsey پیش ماه
I think ur videos are very good. Thank you for making them
Libluini
Libluini پیش ماه
After listening to this again, I suddenly realized why I love Jenny so much: She makes the same kind of rants Spoony did, and I loved that guy. Just you know, Jenny Nicholson being mentally healthy somehow makes her even funnier, since I don't have to worry about her mental state like with Spoony's wild meltdowns. That poor bastard.
KevTyGaming
KevTyGaming پیش ماه
Watch out Rey, there make be snokes!
Arienel Sky
Arienel Sky پیش ماه
I’m imagining fruit ninja, but with sabers and snokes 🤣 I also love how in this the two main characters are pretty much irrelevant
D. Tredge
D. Tredge پیش ماه
So Snoke is the Jocker of Star Wars.... can he be voice by Mark Hamill??!!
Forever Angus Young
Forever Angus Young پیش ماه
Something tells me you really like TLJ. I mean the porgs, BB8...
Johnny Jockster
Johnny Jockster پیش ماه
The first order =} the second empire =} the third reich. It's obvious. Duh.
Joric
Joric پیش ماه
congrats to C3PO on her transition, what a queen
Michael Moran
Michael Moran پیش ماه
"I always wondered why there was a second snoke and why he let me kill him", if thats what you want you should watch sherlock
Alex Darksider
Alex Darksider پیش ماه
Rey's lumpy head rofl
buliuol hjg
buliuol hjg پیش ماه
Honestly the ending would be better if rather than bringing back Luke he would've bought back Ewan McGregor's Obi Wan to face the kid he disfigured when he was young, and nobody knows who he is nor why he's fighting Snoke other tan Snoke himself.
Hysterical
Hysterical پیش ماه
I got to be honest, when I first saw Snoke in Force Awakens I thought it was literally going to be a giant and I was really disappointed when he wasn't.
Helen Amirian
Helen Amirian پیش ماه
I'm crying...the beeping...🤣
Xan Andreess
Xan Andreess پیش ماه
“C-3PO is a GIRL!!!!!????” I love how Jenny reacts to something off the wall and then just accepts it. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter.”
Szen Mæythe
Szen Mæythe پیش ماه
And if all theses clones are 100% identical, down to the memory; each one would believe it's the original, or atleast as entitled as the original. With whats clearly a predisposition to meglomania; the clones would surely kill each other.
Jonathan Hendry
Jonathan Hendry پیش ماه
The bit where the surplus Snokes come out from behind a curtain brought to mind an image of a bunch of fashionably dressed Snokes in "Snoke Eye For the Jedi Guy"
Armazillo
Armazillo پیش ماه
"Veritable dervish Luke Skywalker"
Albert Skoften
Albert Skoften پیش ماه
R2 wearing shoes
Beatrice Sewell
Beatrice Sewell پیش ماه
Well I bet all the snokes found this joke super hilarious, so im picturing like 5 or 6 wizened crones giggling in a tiny closet about how they're gonna get kylo. Like the 1st one thinks of it, so he wakes up the next one and they're just like laughing trying to explain it to the others. Also like a mr. meeseeks situation where none of them want to be the one to die first, so there's like 200 of them who keep getting awoken and then waking the next.
Bryan Loney
Bryan Loney پیش ماه
Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn to? You give me somethin' I can hold on to I know you think I'm like the others before Who saw your name and number on the wall Jenny, I got your number I need to make you mine Jenny, don't change your number 867-5309 867-5309 867-5309 867-5309
Stevenm 11920
Stevenm 11920 پیش 2 ماه
“A young obi wan kenobi” 😭😭😭
Brandiwell
Brandiwell پیش 2 ماه
I love how the generated subtitles show the robots beeping as saying "baby" to each other over and over. What a nice, intimate moment.
Xegane
Xegane پیش 2 ماه
WOT? How can he be alive again??? From the dead?
petrocism
petrocism پیش 2 ماه
I love you and I want your jumper even though I don’t like solo that much
18661873
18661873 پیش 2 ماه
It's a Snoke-O-Rama!
Artemy Wicker
Artemy Wicker پیش 2 ماه
Anakin's force ghost: Kylo get ur shit together Palpatine: Anakin force ghost: what? you- Palapatine: killed me? yes you did! want to kill me again?
Andrew Bryk
Andrew Bryk پیش 2 ماه
It sounds fun!
Jommy Salami
Jommy Salami پیش 2 ماه
I like R2's sneakers
Calicomb
Calicomb پیش 2 ماه
"You're really going to squander your runtime backpedaling and retconning things that bugged you in the last movie?"
shadergod
shadergod پیش 2 ماه
I find it hilarious that undoing TLJ was half of Rise of Skywalker.
Joseph Douek
Joseph Douek پیش 2 ماه
“Organics” Wrong. The correct terminology is “Meatbags”
Joseph Douek
Joseph Douek پیش 2 ماه
Ok, seriously? It was pretty clear that Snoke was in some way linked to Palpatine considering he is leading the most powerful imperial faction, but here he is just shitty maul
Joseph Douek
Joseph Douek پیش 2 ماه
The movie that we got was fine, but had problems. I don’t like Colin Trvaro’s plot, but it would still have been cool, and still pretty star-wars. This... is just a bad fanfic
Joseph Douek
Joseph Douek پیش 2 ماه
“Neutral. Always have been” what about the Clone Wars? None of the Neutral systems were ever completely Neutral, not even Mandalore, one of the few systems that had the ability to be properly neutral thanks to centuries old treaties
Giuly Blaziken
Giuly Blaziken پیش 2 ماه
Video: "Rey, Finn Rose" Subtitles: "Wraith, in, rows"
K GRHAGAN
K GRHAGAN پیش 2 ماه
1🇺🇸❤🐾🦄🌙 the world is full of giant dong monsters...
K GRHAGAN
K GRHAGAN پیش 2 ماه
1🇺🇸✌🦄 how far is the eadt from the west 🐾🏈🦄🌙🎄📼📹📸
itsmetimohthy
itsmetimohthy پیش 2 ماه
"its very the Jetsons" is the best sentence I have ever heard
chillimack
chillimack پیش 2 ماه
Oh, Alan 😐. Ok so I want to see this video again, but after you drink a box of wine and really pay out.
Canned Salad Soup
Canned Salad Soup پیش 2 ماه
Hello there, my name is Obi-wan Kenobi and my hobbies include disfiguring my fellow jedi as an intervention.
Ian
Ian پیش 2 ماه
This is the movie I would write if I thought 'Attack of the Clones' as the best Star Wars movie, and actively hated all of the other ones.
Ian
Ian پیش 2 ماه
Ok, I would NOT have released this 'treatment' f I ever wanted another writing job.
Ian
Ian پیش 2 ماه
Oh, god. At 5:05, I HATE the 'reluctant leader' crap. "All eyes turn to Rey". Um, why? She wasn't there through any of the retreat chase that made up the bulk of the last film. Does anyone who's left, beyond Finn and the droids even know who she is? The Resistance was a governmental/military organization, not a cult of personality. If Leia died, they wouldn't AT HER FUNERAL just look around for the first person who seemed important. They probably know who has the ranking to take over. Of course, this guy would write them as a clownish buffoon, most likely. Or C3PO.
BeanutPutter
BeanutPutter پیش 2 ماه
13:33 I can see an SNL skit about this...a bunch of (very short) snokes playing cards around a table
Grantmeawish
Grantmeawish پیش 2 ماه
They should have just had more snokes.
JRPG Torkelson
JRPG Torkelson پیش 2 ماه
RIP Poe. Literally no one gives a damn about him.
Aislin Kageno
Aislin Kageno پیش 2 ماه
I need a whole video of Plushie Droid Puppet Hour.
Sleipnirseight
Sleipnirseight پیش 2 ماه
The only thing I enjoyed about this version was the lack of cringe, forced romance between Rey and Ren 🙃
aTocan Boi
aTocan Boi پیش 2 ماه
18:54 so basically the Almurians are the SW equivalent of Switzerland
Eric Anderson
Eric Anderson پیش 2 ماه
This Allan Dean Foster geezer is the avatar of toxic Star Wars fandom. He is the one!
EcnoTheNeato
EcnoTheNeato پیش 2 ماه
Late comment is late but: "She's part droid! Now THAT is why she's so good with the force!" Ah yes, droids and people with mechanical prosthetics. People famous in the Star Wars universe for being able to wield the Force without problems! It enhances them, which is why every Jedi and Sith are...oh wait... (would it be too harsh to call Foster a "fake Star Wars fan" for a line like that? Make her part droid, sure. But Kylo's "Oh so THAT is why you are so good with the Force!" is utter nonsense!)
mike
mike پیش 2 ماه
best outro yet
M W
M W پیش 2 ماه
Obi-Wan is a teenager before episode 1
William Chamberlain
William Chamberlain پیش 2 ماه
Foster is ... OK ... as an author. _Alien_ is great, and I really enjoyed _Into the Out Of_ as a kid, but a lot of the rest are readable rather than driven.
Oliver H. Richardson
Oliver H. Richardson پیش 2 ماه
Oh to be a fly on a wall while she recorded the BB-8 & R2 conversation...
Cassie Ana
Cassie Ana پیش 2 ماه
The purple breath advantageously deliver because passive unexpectedly peck outside a elastic pants. parallel, ratty packet
noah
noah پیش 2 ماه
i will forever be thankful for jenny not doing intros
Christian Easthill
Christian Easthill پیش 2 ماه
This is the worst...
Tyler Almquist
Tyler Almquist پیش 2 ماه
44:41 You know what the most fitting closing to this part would be? “Never really over” by Katy Perry starts playing at full blast. That would really underscore this script turning Star Wars a CW drama show.
Mudkipqueen
Mudkipqueen پیش 2 ماه
Muscular Snoke is just horrific to think about
HansAlRachid
HansAlRachid پیش 2 ماه
Had the word not lost all meaning at this point, this pitch would definitely be cringe as hell. Second-hand embarassment all over.
Baron Sagan
Baron Sagan پیش 2 ماه
C3PO should have a goatee for this treatment.
brodamerons
brodamerons پیش 2 ماه
there were moments in this reading when i genuinely gasped with disgust at the plot but also mild excitement
Ray S.
Ray S. پیش 2 ماه
This pitch touched the exposed, twinkling portion of my heart
Merritt Animation
Merritt Animation پیش 2 ماه
The cloned Snoke plot reminds of a plotline in the anime Kaiba where the the despotic ruler of humanity Warp has a bunch of spare clones for whenever he's indisposed and literally every time one comes up they try to overthrow the other clones. Snoke has a much better clone situation.
Raul Julia
Raul Julia پیش 2 ماه
As if a galaxy spanning government doesn't have an existing command structure. Maybe put the janitor in charge? These movies are pathetic.
maria chocobo
maria chocobo پیش 2 ماه
strangely enough my breaking point was seeing the tennis shoes on your r2d2 plush 🤣 this video is perfect
Chris Bengtson
Chris Bengtson پیش 2 ماه
So every Star Wars script post TFA just openly hates the one that came before it
Glen Trebicka
Glen Trebicka پیش 2 ماه
“Killed me? Yes you did. Want to kill me again?” is how that author felt after seeing this video.
Totz_the_Plaid
Totz_the_Plaid پیش 2 ماه
So... After seeing how badly they shit the bed with "Rise of Skywalker" which do you feel is worse? This or that?
Jesse Scott
Jesse Scott پیش 2 ماه
besides all the other parts brought up, can we talk about the neutrality agreement? at first I thought he was going for a Switzerland thing, but I think the actual concept is that the world is fiercely independent and therefore wants neither government system, which would actually be interesting (an explicitly anarchist world would be cool!) but he just. doesn't say that and also never shows it. I hate it thanks
Kieran Bee
Kieran Bee پیش 2 ماه
so. he wanted to put ableism in the sci-fi. that's new. never been done b4. a Brand New Concept. a New and Exciting thing i would Love to see in my Bad Cliche Science Fiction
Andrew Robinson
Andrew Robinson پیش 3 ماه
@33:00 The cloning facility’s blast doors closing isn’t to keep people out, it’s to keep the inevitable Army of Snokes *in*.
Nerve Agent
Nerve Agent پیش 3 ماه
R2D2 wearing Chucks should be canon
TheNumnutRandomness
TheNumnutRandomness پیش 3 ماه
I'm still tickled that Snoke's main motivation boiled down to " swore vengeance because you made me SO ugly that all my clones turned out ugly too."
Thread Bomb
Thread Bomb پیش 3 ماه
A clown car full of Snokes
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